May 2013
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My Mom
With Mother’s Day lurking about, I thought I’d share a story about mine.
If you’ve read my other posts for The Band or checked out my profile, you know my mother has Multiple Sclerosis. She was diagnosed somewhere around 1989, although I’m not sure of the exact date. I remember she’d gotten the MS diagnosis after I’d finished kindergarten because she’d...
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Why Can't I Just Feel Like Me Again?
Rape is a trauma that lasts with you a lifetime.
This is her story (trigger warning):
About a year ago, my best friend was really into this older guy, and I didn’t want to be around him; he gave me the creeps. But she always said, “Come on! I don’t want to go alone,” so I’d give in and hang out with them.
She’d always been a horrible friend, but I suppose I...
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How to heal from rape or sexual assault
(This is an excerpt from a resource page at Band Back Together. Find more here: resource pages at BB2G)
How To Recover From A Rape/Sexual Assault:
If you have been the victim of a rape or sexual assault, you may not know how to feel normal again. You may feel that the emotional pain of a rape or sexual assault will never go away. You may feel shame, depression, anxiety and fear after the attack....
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What Is It About Rape?
This post contains information of a graphic nature.
Please do not continue reading unless you understand that sensitive content about rape is contained below. That said, please support this brave woman as she shares her story.
Rape is more that just physical violation, it also has devastating mental and emotional effects.
This is her story.
What is it about rape that is so hurtful?
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Another Layer
Sometimes, we at the Band know that part of owning who you are is admitting it to the world. It’s one reason why we at The Band work tirelessly to break down stigmas and find the ties that connect us all, the ties that remind us that we are none of us alone. Please join us in standing tall and proud as we tell the world who we are. What are you, The Band, The Face Of?
I am fairly...
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I Was Raped
Up to twenty percent of all men will be raped in their lifetime.
This is his story:
Three days ago, I went out with some friends. We ended up at a local bar where I used to work. Working there meant that I got to know the locals - one in particular, a older man named John.
I always thought he was a cool, chill guy who liked talking to me.
I was wrong.
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I went over to say hi...
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A Dose Of Happy: Summertime
<a href="http://bandbacktogether.com/post/3839//"><img src="http://static.bandbacktogether.com/media/images/2013/02/Dose_Of_Happy_Monday.jpg"></a>
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Last week was officially the start of my summer break between semesters. I have kicked ass in school for the first two semesters of my library science master’s program, and I deserve a little break.
Why is this...
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Sounds of Freedom
The Band asked me what freedom means to me.
I’m an Air Force brat. My first step-father was in the service when he married my mother, and our family lived overseas with him for most of my elementary school years.
Though he retired shortly after we returned to the States, we still lived near an Air Force base. I grew up hearing the sounds of jets Monday through Friday and the occasional...
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Ask The Band: What To Say At A Wedding?
Here at The Band, we believe in kicking stigmas to the curb, flinging glitter, and shining a light into the dark. And now?
Your bandmate needs a sounding board.
It’s time to Ask The Band!
Two of my former students asked me to officiate their wedding.
I’ve been working on the speech for a bit. They asked me to talk about growth and change and how to do this whole marriage stuff. I...
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TAKEN: My First Childhood Memory
This post contains information of a graphic nature.
Please do not continue reading unless you understand that sensitive content about child sexual abuse is contained below. That said, please support this brave woman as she shares her story.
Over 90% of child sex abuse victims know their abusers.
This is her story.
A dark shadow lurks over a little girl, watching her in her silent slumber,...
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Sucker Punch
It would have been simpler if you had just hit me with your fist.
It would have hurt less had curled your fingers up and slammed your fist into my gut.
No. Oh no, you would never hit me. You claimed you would never give in to the urge to physically hurt me. You denied that the urge was there, but I could see it. Please. After nine years I can read you like a book.
On the good days we...
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Date Me, Date My Baggage
I’ve been single for about eight years now. You’re probably thinking, “What the heck’s her problem?”
Where to begin?
For starters, I work overnights and my nights off alternate, which makes it hard to have a relationship. Second, outside of work I’m pretty busy most of the year: I spend a lot of time involved with Relay For Life, and when I’m not doing...
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Sound-Check Wednesday - May 8, 2013
Howdy, y’all!
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I’ve finally reached the end of the semester and now feel like I can take a deep breath and relax. That is, after finishing this here Sound Check.
And it’s May, so we are switching up our World Tour. This month we bring you another installment of I Am The Face Of… because we are all The Face Of something. One of the most important things...
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Who Said Drunk Girls Don't Get Raped?
One in five women reported she had been raped or physically or sexually assaulted in her lifetime.
This is her story.
A night of fun with my friends turned into a horrible nightmare when, after blacking because of too much alcohol, I woke up in some guy’s room and he was on top of me having his way with my body.
Before I could push him off me I blacked out again. I was not...
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A Rose By Any Other Name...
They say that a rose by any other name would still smell as sweet. I think that the flip side of that coin is that shit stinks no matter what you call it.
What has me musing on Shakespearean word play this morning?
My name and the legacy it leaves me.
My last name is a big old hyphenated mess of my maiden name and my second husband’s last name. It’s a long story, and thanks...
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My "Best Friend"
Sexual abuse is devastating, even more so when the abuser is a friend.
This is her story.
Age 13. Should be a time with no worries, right? Wrong. That was the year I was sexually assaulted and violated by my best friend.
One day she forced me to look at porn with her. When I looked away she made me. Another day when we were hanging out she tried making me remove my pants, but I said no. Not...
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Dose Of Happy: Making A Comeback
<a href="http://bandbacktogether.com/post/3839//"><img src="http://static.bandbacktogether.com/media/images/2013/02/Dose_Of_Happy_Monday.jpg"></a>
A little more than a year ago, I was a victim of workplace bullying. The bullies got me fired from two jobs and as a result, I had a mental breakdown. It wasn’t pretty.
[[MORE]] I’ve worked in one specific field for the...
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A Moment In My Past
Going through old emails, I found interesting things. I was in the middle of my “Boy of the Week/Cursed Vagina” phase. I fought for every single one of those boys when that week was up and they decided to end things (with the exception of Irish Guy since I was the one that ended that - with good reason). I remember fighting with The Genius because his reason for ending things was that...
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Taking Care Of ME
I was reading Tracie’s post the other day and decided I needed to submit my own list. A few important ways that I take care of me when I need it the most. Admittedly I don’t do ALL of these things exactly the way I’m mentioning; I can’t do everything all of the time. But I try to fit it in somehow!
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* MUSIC
Music has a way of making me feel amazing. Right now...
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What Does Freedom Mean To You?
Freedom is different for every person.
It can be focused on doing something, or not doing something.
Freedom makes me think of flying - soaring above problems, being responsible only for myself and my choices, and feeling the cold wind against my face.
What does freedom mean to you? How do you set yourself free?
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The Miracle Of Birth Or The Miracle Of My Balls?
One in six couples is infertile. About 40% of the cases are caused by problems involving the male partner.
This is his story.
I will try and avoid upsetting anyone with strong religious beliefs, but I want to create an argument for my scrotum being more miraculous than the so-called miracle of birth.
The way our IVF doctor was carrying on, I started to wonder how anyone became pregnant. I am...
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I Am The Face Of: OCD
Sometimes, we at the Band know that part of owning who you are is admitting it to the world.
It’s one reason why we at The Band work tirelessly to break down stigmas and find the ties that connect us all, the ties that remind us that we are none of us alone. Please join us in standing tall and proud as we tell the world who we are.
What are you, The Band, The Face Of?
I have...
April 2013
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April May Be The Cruelest Month
Depression can be worse at certain times of the year, especially around anniversaries and milestones.
This is is how it affects one person.
But March isn’t really far behind, in my book.
Both months have been difficult for me for the past nine years. They’re the anniversaries of my last nervous breakdown, which for the most part I have put behind me, except when the anniversary...
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Dose Of Happy: Savings
<a href="http://bandbacktogether.com/post/3821//"><img src="http://static.bandbacktogether.com/media/images/2013/02/Dose_Of_Happy_Monday.jpg"></a>
I’m sure most of you are like me and wish a money tree would just sprout up in the middle of your home/yard.
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Since the likelihood of that happening is pretty slim, I’ve had to look for ways to make our budget...
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Left Out
Goodness, I sound like such a child.
“I feel left out,” I told my husband recently. Slighted. Overlooked. Ignored, even.
Sometimes people I refer to as my friends go ahead and do things without me.
Then I see it. Showing up on their Facebook walls.
Dinner and drinks. Lunch with friends.
Am I not their friend, too?
What about me?
It’s often rougher in the...
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Color Me Different
Why is red hot and blue cold? Why is green considered calming and yellow uplifting? Somewhere along the line we are trained by society that certain colors mean certain things, even if we learn that red stars are cooler than blue stars.
I have a new therapist - who I am loving, by the way. He does what a therapist is supposed to: he gets me talking, doesn’t judge, and helps me work through...
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What Is The Most Important Thing In Your Life?
It is easy to get caught up in the rush of life, and find yourself busy and stressed out. When that happens, it helps to put things into perspective, so you can focus your time and energy on the important things.
What is the most important thing in your life?
