Ask The Band: Adultery & The Inlaws

Here at The Band, we believe in kicking stigmas to the curb, flinging glitter, and shining a light into the dark. And now?

Your bandmate needs a sounding board.

It’s time to Ask The Band!

I’m having a real issue. Since my partner and I moved into our current house three years ago, her father has been acting shady. He came down and stayed with us for a while when we first got the keys to the house to help paint and do some little things. He got a little too friendly with a woman who used to rent the house and was in the process of moving out while we were finalizing taking possession of the house.

We’ve suspected things for three years and my partner has confronted her father on several occasions to ask him what is going on. He has always denied anything was going on.

This last weekend my partner’s mother found the registration to this woman’s car in her car. There have been other things like a mystery credit card that he claims was fraud. He said he went to Detroit, Michigan, ran into a ditch and had to be towed out. The receipt was for a towing company in central Ohio.

All of this came to a head yesterday and, as we were leaving the in-laws, he asked my partner if he could come stay with us if he was thrown out. I don’t like this idea because he’s used us as a flop house for the last three years to cheat on his wife.

My problem is that very early in my relationship with my partner, I cheated on her. I feel like I don’t have the moral authority to refuse to allow him to stay with us. Tonight, he called and asked if he could come stay with us for a few days - I didn’t feel like I could say no.

I don’t want this drama and if his marriage is over, I’m going to have my hands full with getting my partner and our children through this mess.

So I ask you, The Band, what should I do?