Look How Far We’ve Come: Lessons From Others
2012 - what a year.
For some of us, it was a year of dreams fulfilled, questions answered and our way, at long last, found.
For some of us, it was a year of loss, sadness and longing for what we once had.
For all of us, it was a year in which we learned, loved, and grew.
What did 2012 mean to you?
2012 has been good to me. I really cannot complain. I have everything I could possibly need and want - except for that winning lottery ticket.
My year has been filled with love, happiness, and good fortune.
But I’m not here to gloat. I am showing gratitude for the goodness of this year, at least to me.
Source: bandbacktogether.com
An Attitude Of Gratitude
Practicing an attitude of gratitude is often difficult at this time of year, what with all the road rage and more than unpleasant “Black Friday” shopping experiences; however, I find that it is important to take a little time each day to give thanks for the blessings and gifts in my life.
Today, I am thankful for…
Source: bandbacktogether.com
“You’ve Been Carrying That Burden Long Enough”
I doubt that the gentleman who said that to me knew what he was actually saying about my life.
It happened in Walmart a couple of days ago. I was standing in a line that wasn’t moving because the cashier was too busy conversing (with her hands) with the customer she should have been checking out.
The next line over was moving, slowly but surely.
I’ve noticed that whichever line I am standing in just happens to be the slowest in the store; yet it never fails that if I move to another line, it instantly becomes the slowest moving line in the store. So, I stayed my happy ass right where it was, thinking murderous thoughts about this cashier who wasn’t doing her job.
Source: bandbacktogether.com
Gratitude
It’s hard to quantify the amount of love that you, The Band, give to others.
She’s here to give thanks. Thanks for YOU, The Band.
This is her story:
I’ve written two posts here on Band Back Together, both about my mother. I was thinking about the first post today and stumbled across the second post - one I barely remember writing.
The post was about an episode in which my mother almost died. She coded, I hurried to the hospital, and I felt conflicted because I wished she had died. I felt like shit, so guilty for that. I wrote that post the morning afterward, sitting at work, trying to muddle through the events from the night before. I was wading through the dark, twisty thoughts in my head.
I wrote that post on December 22nd, 2011.
By December 28th, 2011, my mother was dead.
In one short week, my brother and I, with my mother’s partner, made the decision to put her into hospice care. She lasted three days in hospice before she died.
The days we were in hospice, I blogged about my experiences. I’ve since continued my therapy-via-internet on my personal blog. Writing has been an amazingly cathartic outlet for my pain. The fear that I will hurt my mother should she stumble across my words is now gone. She’s dead. Finally, I can begin to heal.
What I wanted to convey with my words was gratitude. I’d almost forgotten about writing that second emotional, frantic post. When I found that post today, and read through the comments, I was filled with a sense of love; thankfulness - even though my mother’s death is nearly five months in the past.
So, The Band, I thank you. I don’t read and comment here as much as I should, but I plan on changing that.
For the support, encouragement and love you’ve given me: thank you.
Source: bandbacktogether.com
Kindness Of Strangers
I’m not very articulate when putting something down on paper (or the interwebs, for that matter), but I’m going to try.
I am twenty-nine years old, and without the kindness of strangers, I wouldn’t be here.
When I was twenty-four, I was driving to my parents house in northern Wisconsin. Taking the back roads - as usual - I came upon a cluster of deer in the road and in the ditches. My first instinct was to brake and swerve, which is exactly what you’re not supposed to do, but it happens. I ended up driving into the ditch, hitting a drainage culvert. From what I remember, I took out a mailbox and rolled my beautiful Jeep four times.
When I came to, all of my windows (except the driver’s side window and windshield) were blown out. My belongings were strewn throughout the ditch - I couldn’t find my cellphone to call for help. I tried screaming, but when I opened my mouth, hardly anything came out. It hurt my ribs hurt like hell.
I was so scared, and tired that all I could do was cry. I decided that if I was going to get anyone’s attention, I was going to lay my head on the horn and hope someone heard me.
I don’t know how long I waited, but this kindly man (I still do not know his name) screeched his battered old pick-up to a halt and came running to see if I was okay.
There was a lot of blood. My door wouldn’t open (THANK GOD I was wearing my seat belt!).
Source: bandbacktogether.com
Being Thankful When Times Are Tough
It’s interesting being a Canadian when US Thanksgiving rolls around (and yes: Canadians DO celebrate Thanksgiving; we just do it the “normal” way a month earlier to give us some breathing room before Christmas hits… hehehe). I can’t speak for all Canadians, but Thanksgiving doesn’t feel like the big deal it appears to be for you Americans - Thanksgiving is clearly your holiday of choice! It’s really cool to see how excited everyone south of the border gets, whether it’s over the Thanksgiving feast or the time spent with loved ones.
Times are tough for almost everyone right now.
It can be damned difficult to keep your head up and attempt to remain positive, thankful, grateful when it feels like the world is falling down around you. However, practicing gratitude (as cheesy as it may sound) can go a long way to keeping spirits bright as the days grow shorter. So even though I “celebrated” Thanksgiving (read: ate a pumpkin pie over the course of a week) six weeks ago, I’m going to make a list of things I’m thankful for:
- I’m thankful for renewing my love of reading
- I’m thankful for flannel sheets and an electric blanket, since I sleep with a window-open-lover
- I’m thankful for music
- I’m thankful that I gave meditation a try
- I’m thankful for Aunt Becky bringing us Band Back Together so everyone has a place to be heard and to receive support
- I’m thankful that I have an amazing partner who loves me unconditionally that I know I can rely on no matter what
- I’m thankful for unemployment insurance and new job opportunities and faith that it will all be okay
- I’m actually thankful that being laid off will allow me the chance to explore therapy
- I’m thankful for my friend (and the other half of my brain), Erin, the inspiration for this post (read: the bright idea of our shared brain)
- I’m thankful that Al Gore invented the interwebz to allow me to “meet” so many amazing, inspiring people (yes, YOU)
Okay, folks: your turn! Tell me here in the comments, on our Facebook page, or on The Twitter with the #thankfulwiththeband hashtag what YOU are thankful for.
Source: bandbacktogether.com
Thankful On Thanksgiving
This submission is part of the FLINGS GLITTER HOLIDAY Edition of our BB2G World Tour. Hard to believe we’ve been doing it almost a whole year, eh?
So, The Band, what makes YOUR holiday sparkle? It can be anything. Everything.
Something that makes you smile.
Now dish!
The temptation on a day like today is to talk about the standard spectrum of things for which to be thankful: a good job, wonderful children, beautiful wife, a roof over my head. But these are not the things I’m most thankful for, not this year.
No, what I’m thankful for is… YOU.
Seriously. You’re taking some of your busy day to read this post, and likely several other posts, here at Band Back Together. As a want-to-be writer, it means a lot every time someone makes the effort to read some of my prose. But that’s not it, not really. (Okay maybe a little.)
No, I am thankful you are HERE. That you are part of The Band.
You see, we – you, me, and everyone else who reads, writes, edits, or otherwise supports this site – are doing something really important here. It can be a dark world out there, but YOU are taking the first step in making it a little brighter.
Each post written or read, each comment shared, all of it matters. Even when you can’t bring yourself to comment – you’ve made a stand against the darkness. You’ve acknowledged something very important by spending your time here.
You’ve acknowledged that we all need somebody sometime. You’ve acknowledged that it’s okay to have problems and to share them with others. You’ve acknowledged that people have value.
Source: bandbacktogether.com
Thankfulness
Today, I am thankful for good mental health care.
A person with my diagnosis in almost any other country would have a hard time trying to find such quality care. Yes, sometimes in an emergent situation you may end up being hospitalized far away from your home and support system, where the attention to cleanliness and patient care is not perfect. Care is available in this country even if you do not have the ability to pay. It is not a perfect system, but it is a pretty good one, and I am grateful for that tonight.
I am thankful for the day program I’ve been attending at a mental health center here in town. I might complain and moan and groan about the imperfections in the system, but the reality is I have a place to go. I am not left to either wander the streets all day or isolate in my home. I am positive any progress I make is due not only to my hard work, but also to the dedication of a few good people.
I am grateful for the other clients that attend this group therapy program. Every person there contributes, whether they believe it or not. When one person is absent, the rest of the group notices and it becomes a different day all together.
Finally, I am thankful for my therapist and the therapists and staff at the day program. Without these people, it would be impossible to have such a program. There would be many people missing out on the opportunity to learn and grow, cope and hopefully thrive.
Source: bandbacktogether.com
Thanksgiving With The Band
This submission is part of the FLINGS GLITTER HOLIDAY Edition of our BB2G World Tour. Hard to believe we’ve been doing it almost a whole year, eh?
So, The Band, what makes YOUR holiday sparkle?
I’m thankful to be “With The Band“.
Life isn’t easy. It’s difficult for everyone.
I’m sure you’ve heard the old adage “Anything worth having isn’t easy.” That’s life.
Stress, work, children, and many other factors cause us to live our days thinking about what isn’t right in life. Some of us think about what we will do to change it; others sit with their head in their hands, exasperated by their situations, feeling helpless.
So, this Thanksgiving Day, I want to switch focus. I want each and every one of you to take a few minutes to think about what is good in your life and what you are thankful for. I have a few of my own I want to share.
I’m thankful for my beautiful and talented children. They are healthy and both are highly intelligent; one is musically talented in both voice and instrument, the other plays multiple sports and is highly sought after by coaches all over the area.
I have a wonderful man in my life. A funny, talented man who gives me a smile and laugh every single day. If you can’t laugh at least once a day, you really should find something that will help you. Life looks better when you’re smiling, no matter what you’re going through. This man of mine I met purely by accident. We didn’t know anything would ever come of it. Love came fast, strong, and natural and I am so blessed to have met my match.
The Band! I am so blessed to actually be a part of the Brains Behind the Band, who spend countless hours spreading love, strength, encouragement, and education to those who truly need it.
We’ve all had moments where we felt as though our lives had taken a path we never wanted it to go. We’ve all felt helpless and out of control. We all need a support system. The Band is mine. The Band is here for everyone.
When I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy whom I spent 38 weeks growing and loving, a beautiful baby boy who was born never taking a breath, and I screamed at the top of my lungs for hours, and I felt loss, helplessness, despair, rage, guilt, and everything else I felt when my beautiful boy was taken from me, I needed support. I needed to have someone there to say they may not completely understand, but they were there to lend an ear and help me work through my emotions.
I needed The Band.
When I started dealing with an illness that kills many people and I wanted to give up, I found The Band.
When I did, I found strength, love, and encouragement.
I found exactly what I needed to fight my way through.
So, today, I am thankful for my family, my love, and my friends. I am thankful for The Band and the amazing people I communicate with every single day. I am thankful for the love and friendship we share. I’m grateful for the amount of compassion, the emotions, and the laughs. It’s a group I am so happy to be a part of and hope to continue on for many years to come.
Much Love to All of You!
Happy Thanksgiving, America.
Source: bandbacktogether.com
BB2G World Tour: Spring Showers In Fall
This past weekend I did something that I should do more often. I took some time to step back and really take stock of my present everyday life and realized that – holy crap – I absolutely love it! There have been many times in the past that I’ve counted my blessings – but it was always out of necessity. It was always done when I was so miserable that I needed to find good things to cling to. This time was different. It was just an instant realization that suddenly washed over me and filled me with hope, completely unprovoked, like a spring shower that comes quickly out of nowhere and then just as rapidly dissipates, leaving the world a little cleaner and brighter in its wake.
Yeah, I know, sappy huh?
Well, sometimes you just need the sappy I guess.
So, here is my spring shower list – in no particular order and most likely incomplete – of the things that make my days a little brighter, cleaner, and shinier than they have been in many many years:
- I have two absolutely beautiful children who unwittingly spend every minute of every day reminding me of what’s really important: bear hugs, wet sloppy kisses, belly laughs, reckless unabashed dancing, big satisfying puddle-jumps, and quiet contented snuggles.
Source: bandbacktogether.com
Almost There - Gratitude Project
This post is part of an ongoing project at Band Back Together.
So, what are YOU grateful for, The Band?
I was waiting with some groceries at the taxi stand yesterday. As the line shortened, I realized that the man at the front of it was continually passing up cabs. As I got closer, I heard him say, “Go ahead, I’m waiting for my wife.” And then, as I stood directly behind him, the wife showed up.
She looked a bit beaten down. She wasn’t dressed well or appropriately for her advanced age. Her hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail. Her tank top was riding up, exposing the flesh of her back. But all of those characteristics were secondary to her obvious hatred of her husband.
“I’ve had to let at least ten cabs go. Where were you?” the man said in a hushed tone.
She spat the words at him: “Oh, shut the fuck up.”
And for as much use as the word gets in my vocabulary, it has not lost its power. I hear it used in anger and I flinch. I nearly put an arm up to defend myself against it. It’s not okay to speak to someone like that.
Source: bandbacktogether.com
Gratefulness
This post is part of an ongoing project at Band Back Together.
So, what are YOU grateful for, The Band?
Things I am grateful for:
My kids, both the two- and four-legged variety.
My husband, US Navy sailor, father, stepfather
My family, even though I don’t like them all the time, I am grateful they are all healthy and (relatively) happy
My big, goofy, dopey dog who kicked heartworms in the ass. And never complained or acted funny about so many trips to the vet.
The US Navy for making my husband grow up but still know how to play with his kids.
My best friend, my co-conspirator, my wife, without whom I don’t know where I’d be.
All of my wonderful friends, online and in real life. We hold each other when times get tough and stay in touch through teh interwebz. I know I can call on any one of these people in times of need, and they will be there for me.
Source: bandbacktogether.com
I am thankful for this and that
This post is part of an ongoing project at Band Back Together.
So, what are YOU grateful for, The Band?
What Am I thankful for? What a point to ponder. How do I cut through all of the bullshit to find the thanks ?
Let’s try this.
I am thankful for my children who are constantly trying to maim or otherwise torment each other. I tackle this with laughter because sometimes that’s all I can do. Laugh , maniacally, while my children stare at me like something is wrong with mommy. Why is she laughing like that? Aren’t we in trouble ?
I am thankful for my friend Danielle, because I can say absolutely anything to this woman, and I do mean anything! Poor girl.
I am also thankful for the rest of my best friends who occasionally get in on the lunacy, as if they had a choice.
Source: bandbacktogether.com
Happy, Happy, Fight
I had no family history of breast cancer. When I turned 40, I started getting a mammogram at my annual checkup. When I went for my appointment in November of 2009, there were actually news reports about recommendations to wait until your 50′s to start mammograms. I was 44. I though,t “Hmmm, cheap old men.”
When they called to send me for a followup mammogram, they said that since they were using newer, more advanced machines they were calling many people back–so I thought it was no big deal, and I went all by myself.
(Always bring your girlfriends with you!)
I walked in and saw my original film hanging on the wall. I could easily see the tumor –a wave of emotion crashed over me when I saw it, plain as day. I was so irritated. I was out of work and didn’t want to deal with this on top of everything else.
Then there was a blur of tests–the ultrasound took so long that I thought one technician was training the other. I still was in denial, thinking it was maybe just a cyst. I had no family history, but they were getting the images to prepare for a needle biopsy. Then I had an MRI which found more tumors in the other side. I had tests and procedures Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, and on Friday I had a job interview.
Source: bandbacktogether.com
